A Long Time Coming - Sustainable Motherhood Returns

It has been some time since I've posted...three months to be exact.  While I could probably write a book about the last few months, but for the time being, I've decided the best way to share it is through a brief time line.  Enjoy...

11/22/08

After four months of negotiations, inspections, repairs and waiting, we finally closed on the sale of our house in Greenwood Lake.  That same morning, after only a week of negotiations, I signed the contract on the job that I had arguably been working toward for ten years. 

11/27/08

We celebrated a great Thanksgiving in York, PA.

11/29/08

With the help of family and friends, we moved from Greenwood Lake to our new house in Warwick, that we were renting until the expected close in the middle of December.

12/2/08

I started my new job and joined my husband in the grind of the two hour commute to the city. 

12/5/08 

It snowed a lot.

12/8/08 

My commute home took four hours.

12/14/08 

Twelve inches of snow fell.

12/15/08

We didn't close on the house, but were told not to worry, as it would only be a matter of days.

12/19/08 

Holiday vacation began and I celebrated being off until 1/5.

12/22/08

We didn't close on the house and were told it would probably not happen until after the holidays.

12/25/08 

We celebrated a  great Christmas with our family.

12/26/08 

I celebrated a great birthday with my family.

12/29/08 

We installed all the new light fixtures,= and the custom black out shades, that we knew we shouldn't have bought just yet, but didn't care because we loved the house and we were staying no matter what.

12/30/08 

Despite offering market price for the house, having an approved mortgage, and being "excellent buyers", the bank still didn't approve the sellers' sale of the house. WTF

12/31/08

We celebrated a great New Years with friends at our new house.

1/1/09

We made good use of the black out shades on a very sunny New Years Day.

1/3/09 

We bought a snow blower.

1/5/09 

Back to school began with the Freen pulling my hair out in the morning when I dropped him off at school.

1/6/09 

The Freen cried and pulled my hair out when I left him at school again.  The head of the nursery school assured me this was normal.  I assured her that the Freen had been attending school for the last two years and that this in fact was NOT NORMAL.

1/7/09 

Another ice storm crystalized the fact we had actually moved to Narnia.

1/8/09 

50mph winds blew down the mountain and ripped through our yard, lifting our recycling through the air, spreading it all over our neighbor's ice covered yard at six in the morning, before we even started the commute.  I began to question our decision.

1/9/09 

Still no word from our sellers, so we called our lawyer just to see if we might be able to get out of the contract and he told us there wouldn't be an issue.

1/10/09 

We found a two bedroom, no fee, one month free apartment, on the 31st floor with river views just twenty blocks from my parents. 

1/11/09 

Our babysitter from before we moved out of the city called us to tell us she was looking for a job. 

1/12/09 

The repo man was on the front lawn looking for our sellers, who apparently owned a gray Ford Expedition along with the house we were living in.  I decided it was time to get the hell out of their house.

1/13/09 

Sears took the snow blower back and we got a full refund.

1/14/09 

It snowed 12 inches.  We stayed with my parents in the City for a few days.

1/18/09 

Flat Rate moved all our belongings into the City in the snow.

1/19/09

We unpacked all our belongings again.

1/22/09 - Now

We settled into our new, albeit significantly smaller digs, got the Freen enrolled in summer camp, swim lessons, t-ball and kindergarten (hopefully), and enjoyed a much deserved adjustment period.  

Needless to say December and January were a crazy couple of months and since then we've been catching our breath and wondering why the hell we ever left New York in the first place.  I wish I had been able to blog the whole time, however, priorities being as they are, I had to focus on our lives first.  That said, now I am back and I have the new perspective of living sustainably in the City, which while easier in many ways, also presents its own challenges like $7 half gallons of organic milk and a son who raises his arm for a taxi whenever we leave our building. So stay tuned and thanks for waiting.

Our Influence is Our Strength and Our Strengths Our Influence - The Formative Five - September’s Sustainable Mothers of the Month

The mission of this blog is to document my quest for sustainability. As I've said before, sustainable living isn't just about the environment, but about finding a balance between individual well being, good parenting, professional achievement, and giving back to the community. Ultimately, I believe that living a sustainable lifestyle supports that balance, and that looking at life through the lens of sustainability helps eliminate the nonessentials, that can lead to imbalance. By honoring a mother (or group of mothers) each month, I hope to elucidate how sustainable choices support this balance. This is why this month I decided to honor those mothers who inspired and shaped me growing up...so in no particular order...I would like to recognize my formative five.

My Mother (aka Moma) - Mothering and Mothering and Mothering

My mother had a child in 1974, 1984 and 1996 and had I not had the Freen, she might have continued the trend. When I tell people this they often ask “why?” After a glass or two of chardonnay, I'll tell them she wanted to make sure she always had a babysitter on hand, but I know the truth is that family is, and always will be; the most important thing to my mother and it is through mothering and being a mother that she feels pride, happiness and success. It wasn’t until I had my own child that I could appreciate this. Before my son was born, I’m not sure I ever understood my mother or the choices she made but once I became a mother it all made sense and my respect and understanding of my mother and all mothers came into being.

My Grandmother Rose - Cleaning and an Appreciation of the Finer Things

My Grandmother is a neat freak. One might ask what cleaning has to do with sustainability but that person probably doesn't know me. Growing up, my parents didn't send me to camp. They sent me to my Grandparents’ house. It was there that that my appreciation of structure, order and cleanliness was instilled. I’m not knocking my parents’ house...well okay I am; it was not structured, ordered or clean. That said, my Grandmother's house was the other extreme - often she would vacuum before we got up from the table. Today, when I find myself with a bottle of Mrs. Myers and rag in hand before my guests have finished eating I fondly remember those moments. So, while cleaning is not inherent to sustainability or balance to me it reflects my own balance. I would wager to say that the cleanliness of my home on any given day reflects the level of balance my life is in. If my house is spotless it is likely that I am avoiding something, if it is a mess then I am definitely avoiding something, if it is generally clean with a small pile of laundry things are likely pretty all right.

My Aunt Debbie - Gardening and Writing

My Aunt Debbie is a librarian. I know my Aunt Debbie will be a little disappointed when she reads this because for every year as long as I can remember she has given me a book or two or three for Christmas and now continues the tradition with the Freen. Without question through these books her appreciation of literature has been passed on to everyone who knows her including myself, but in reflecting now on the impact of the time I've spent with her throughout the years, it is her garden and her appreciation of nature that inspired me most. Growing up in New York, I had little chance to plant bulbs or eat snap peas straight off the vine. I remember summers in her garden and walking through the woods behind her house as formative moments that gave me an appreciation for the outdoors. It is now, when I am pruning my forsythia or planting my bulbs wondering how the hell I ever learned how or even became interested in gardening, that I remember her garden and how much time we spent there.

My Aunt Susan - Working and Giving

My Aunt Susan has her PhD in Nursing. Growing up I remember that when we would visit her house she would often go up to bed at 7pm, get up at 4am for work, return at 6pm, and do it all over again the next day - sometimes even on Christmas. Once my cousin Amanda was older, she added to these hours by going back to school for her PhD. Her career has always been important, but somehow it never took precedence. She always had time for my cousin and for all of us. I suppose in some way nursing and giving are just one in the same. With all the time she would spend working and schooling, Susan was still finished Christmas shopping long before anyone in my family even began. She was never late with a card or a gift. I remember her dining room being filled with gifts for me and my siblings and all her other nieces and nephews. It was this generosity and the time she would spend finding the right gift for each one of us that showed how important her family was and still is to Susan.

My Aunt Catherine - Cooking and Hosting

My Aunt Catherine is a wonderful cook and hostess. Without the summer weekends and holidays at my Aunt Catherine's house, I'm not sure I would have ever learned how to cook. I'm not knocking my Dad's turkey surprise or my Grandmother's pilaf, but it is Aunt Catherine who taught me the value and joy of cooking for others. When I read Michael Pollan's books, it was Catherine I thought of because she cooks real meals for her family every night and whether it was a meal for two or twenty the result was always a culinary experience to be remembered. Every meal served is cooked with love and patience and an appreciation for where the food came from and for who would be eating it. The many meals we had together with our extended family sitting on the back porch of their house were some of the best times our families spent together and a time that is often lost on meals in front of the television or served of out of cartons. So this summer when I had the chance to walk the Cape Ann Farmer's Market with her picking local herbs and vegetables while talking with her about her involvement with Sustainable Cape Ann and this blog to return to cook dinner with her for our family it all came full circle.

While there were many other women and men that shaped me growing up and continue to do so in looking back at the women who I spent the most time with as a child I was struck by how uniquely different each one of these women is and how much of each of them shaped me. I am sure this in itself it not unique which is what makes it so remarkable. As women and mothers our sphere of influence is so much more than our immediate families and it is not a power we should take lightly. Our influence is our strength and our strengths our influence.

Sustainable Motherhood Honors Dr. Jessica North as the First Sustainable Mother of the Month

When I had the idea for Sustainable Motherhood the first thing I did was check to see if the domain was available (yay it was!) and the second was a google search. At the time the only direct hit that came up was an article in the November 2007 newsletter of International Federation of University Women titled "The Science of Sustainable Motherhood" written by Dr. Jessica North an Environment Scientist and Waste Specialist in the UK. In it Jessica, a mom to be and an environmental scientist, discussed the challenge she faced deciding between disposable or reusable diapers. After reading the article I knew I was onto something. Here is a mom to be, an environmental scientist, a waste specialist for that matter who is struggling with the same questions as me 2500 miles across the Atlantic. I immediately reached out to her to let her know what I had planned for the blog and get her support and in the throws of "nappy changing" (cloth mind you) and adjusting to new motherhood she offered it up. I knew I wanted to recognize her in some way on the site, but wasn't sure how, so when I had the idea to start the Sustainable Mother of the Month feature it was a no brainer that Dr. Jessica North would be the first honoree.

Jessica is mother to a "wee angel of a baby" 6 month old Lucy. She is originally from New Zealand but is currently "in transit" as her husband James finishes his MSc thesis in straw bale building, moving from the UK to Canada. All this travel is giving little Lucy a large carbon imprint at an early age but as you'll see from the interview Jessica does a great job offsetting all their travel in lots of little ways.

SM: What does sustainable motherhood mean to you?

JN: Sustainable living, which I interpret as acting in an eco-positive way, is very much ingrained in our household - both my husband and I are 'green collar' workers (eco-building design and waste industries), and we also have a very personal interest in trying to reduce our day-to-day impact on the planet. I guess sustainable motherhood is simply an extension of this lifestyle to the decisions I make regarding Lucy. But it also goes deeper: I'm trying to act in ways that will help protect the world for Lucy's future, as well as teaching her valuable, eco-positive habits. I'm pretty sure the majority of my own values came from my mum, so hopefully I can pass-on a similar inheritance.

SM: What activity or product purchase do you struggle with the most when it comes to trying to parent and live more sustainably?

JN: At the moment the product is 'baby rice cereal' - she loves the bought stuff, but even the organic brands come vacuum-sealed and boxed, and that's a lot of packaging. I've tried to puree regular rice, but it doesn't go down well! The activity is going to be visiting relatives, since our families are spread around the globe. To date we've tried to combine family visits with business trips, which gives a little bit more justification for the air travel, but it's still a lot of fuel and carbon to consider.

SM: What are one or two of your favorite sustainable parenting activities?

JN: Most recently, making Lucy's meals from the ingredients in our locally produced, organic veg box: she sits in the sink and chews on spoons, watching me chop, steam and mash! I've discovered a recipe for homemade baby biscuits, so that'll be next.
An activity we aspire to is cycling - I've been doing some research, and feel happy about using a child trailer (with her infant car seat) until she can graduate to a front-mounted baby seat. Both systems have been rated as safe by European researchers. Hopefully we'll start next month. In the meantime we use a combination of buggy, backpack, trains, and ferries to explore the wider world.

SM: Do you have any other tips on sustainable living for our readers?

JN: We are friends with a group of very like-minded parents: our children are in cloth nappies, we buy organic/local food, we make our own baby meals, our bikes are used in preference to our cars (if we have them), we participate in 'freecycle' to exchange used baby gear, etc. Surrounded by people making conscious lifestyle decisions to be more eco-positive, it's easy to believe that this is 'the norm'. I hope one day it will be, but sadly it's not yet the case. I do believe that these lifestyle choices are going to become easier, as more resources (like this blog!) become available, and particularly as the prices for products and services start to reflect their true environmental impact. Ok, now I better stop before I really get into my stride!!!

Thank you Jessica for your time, your efforts at protecting the earth for Lucy and everyone and for taking the time to share your ideas and thoughts with us. Congratulations on being not only a wonderful Sustainable Mother but the first to be recognized on this site.

Sustainable Motherhood at 16 Weeks

I seem to remember 16 weeks being a milestone in the Freen's development. Perhaps that's because it is when I went back to work and even though he got easier everything got just a little bit harder. Regardless after four months, SustainableMotherhood.com has also reached a milestone. We hit 2,000 unique visitors today. While this is not that impressive on its own right what I am excited about is that the second thousand happened in the last four weeks. The recent post on High Fructose Corn Syrup received great feedback and wonderful comments. I am so excited by the progress and I just wish I had more time to write and research but unfortunately there is still real work to be done and real money to be made.

For the blog in August, I am looking into phthalates and finding the research as conflicting and the chemical as pervasive as BPA. I also just recently attended our local sustainability group, Sustainable Warwick and became a member of the consumer initiatives group aka The Bag Ladies. My first assignment is to look into the environmental impact of bottled water and how we can promote the use of greener alternatives in our community. Finally, in August I plan to start a series titled Sustainable Mother of the Month. I want to recognize all types of moms for their efforts in promoting sustainable living. I have the first few lined up, but if you have any suggestions, please submit nominations via comments until I figure out how to add a poll to the blog.

In other news, Sustainable Motherhood was added to the blog roll of one of the best green mommy blogs around Green Mom Finds and it was listed in the Top 100 Best Blogs by Green and Clean Mom. Also in July, after months of procrastinating, I finally uploaded our logo and archived posts to a Facebook fan page. Visit and fan us to receive updates on posts and join a community of other moms looking to achieve sustainability. While you're there also check out Z Recommends' fan page. Z Recs was one of the first sites to list us in their blog roll and we get several visitors a day from it, so I would like to return the love.

Well that is all the shameless self-promotion I'll engage in for today. Now I am going to get out of my gym clothes and pick up the freen.

A Tomato Grows Outside of Brooklyn

A Tomato Grows Outside of Brooklyn 004
Originally uploaded by Sustainable Mom

FDA gives tomatoes the all clear but it doesn't make a difference to us as the Freen picks our first ripe, organic, always salmonella free tomatoes of the season.

Freen rocks out to Band of Horses

Freen rocks out to Band of Horses
Originally uploaded by Sustainable Mom

We always listen to music in our house and in the car on the way to school. We've recently graduated from Laurie Berkner and Jack Johnson to......Band of Horses?

Sustainable Motherhood’s Top Ten Sustainable Parenting Activities

Unless you live under a rock, you know today is Earth Day. In honor of Earth Day, I will provide a formal definition of Sustainable Motherhood and share the Sustainable Motherhood Top Ten Low-Impact High-Return Activities.

Sustainable Motherhood is a lifestyle that can be maintained without copious amounts of Prozac, alcohol and/or Ben & Jerry’s indefinitely without the exhaustion of individual happiness and energy. It is the pursuit of environment- and family-friendly activities that benefit you, your family, your community and your world. True believers often make lifestyle tradeoffs, such as quitting thankless day jobs to focus on improving the lives and communities of those around them. While the term sustainable originated as an environmental term, with respect to parenthood, it refers to the positive impacts that can be made through informed choices regarding nutrition, fitness, education, work, money, entertainment and the environment.

To further clarify, I compiled the Sustainable Motherhood Top Ten which details my favorite low-impact high-return family activities.

• Making organic smoothies together.
• Baking organic cookies while the freen eats the chips out of the bowl.
• Driving to school together in the CRV with the sun roof open singing Jack Johnson’s song 3R's - Reduce, Reuse and Recycle. (ok driving is not exactly sustainable but it is the singing that counts)
• Reading I am the Peach by Luisa de Noriega.
• Pushing the stroller up the mountain on a cool crisp spring morning.
• Walking down to the beach to throw rocks in the lake at sunset.
• Joining community clean-up day with the whole family.
• Going to the grocery store together - checking labels for corn syrup and plastic containers for BPA the whole way.
• Watching American Idol. (ok I’m sure it is bad for the environment, but it is exceptionally family friendly.)
• Working in the garden with the Freen - We’ve converted to all organic seeds and soils this year - generally the Freen throws dirt and I chase him around trying to keep him from stomping on the newly sprouted flowers. Good for me, good for the Freen, good for the environment.

Please comment to share your favorite Low Impact High Return Family Activities. Happy Earth Day!

What is Sustainable Motherhood?

I suppose I’ll start with what sustainable motherhood is not. It is not working from 8:30am to 6:30pm, picking your son up from daycare and then coming home to make and serve dinner, bathe and ready him for bed, and then read Where is my Cat until you both fall asleep, only to wake up six hours later, to do it all again four more times before the week finally ends.

Is that the often discussed, but rarely attained work-life-balance people speak of? No.

Is that every girl’s dream of having it all? Nope.

Is that sustainable? Absolutely not.

I was first introduced to the idea of sustainability during a business dinner with a group of experts in the field of public health. The conversation was centered on how to design a “sustainable healthcare delivery system” for developing countries. The group focused on the role that microfinance strategies might play. They discussed the examples like BRAC and Grameen Bank. It seemed a truly novel idea at the time but deeper understanding and a little research would prove that indeed the idea was not novel, just new to me.

The word continued to surface in my day to day, as discussions of sustainable living, development, agriculture and design all came to the forefront. Wikipedia defines sustainability as “characteristic of a process or state that can be maintained at a certain level indefinitely” and sustainable living as “an individual or society's lifestyle that can be sustained with limited exhaustion of natural resources”.

I define Sustainable Motherhood as a lifestyle that challenges the status quo, insists that less is more, with a focus on only those activities which replenish ourselves, our families, our friends, our work and our global community.

Three years into my quest to be an uber-mom, a take no prisoners employee and a reasonably good wife, I find myself underperforming on all fronts. By embracing the idea of Sustainable Motherhood, I never want to have another day when work went well but my son went ignored. So as I begin what some would call a life-cycle-assessment, it has become clear that my job is like a nitrogen rich fertilizer offering good yields one year, only to raise expectations and reduce the value of my efforts every year after. It is indeed not sustainable and to achieve my goals I must find new alternative financial resources. As I explore my options, I will chronicle my experience and what I uncover here to try to help others like me achieve a more sustainable existence. Welcome to Sustainable Motherhood...For those who know less is more and having it all is a bunch of bull.